


wish i could shut my playboy mouth

by redlight



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: #canrusame, Alternate Universe - Human, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, M/M, also taylor swift, get it trending, i regret absolutely nothing, implied sexual shenanigans?, probably, sort of, this is a wreck and i apologize, this is nonsense and nevermind i dont apologize, totally creative usernames, typing song lyrics into the chatbox, unsolicited references to Lady GaGa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 04:26:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3796642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlight/pseuds/redlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>godblessthishotmess</b>: check it out im blond<br/><b>godblessthishotmess</b>: im not not-skinny<br/><b>godblessthishotmess</b>: im kinda rich because us treasury haha oh no<br/><b>godblessthishotmess</b>: and im a pretty hella bitch</p><p>A soap opera in the making.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wish i could shut my playboy mouth

**godblessthishotmess** : hello brother i have been waiting in the dark recesses of the internet

**godblessthishotmess** : waiting

**godblessthishotmess** : for

**godblessthishotmess** : you

  
**maplebears** : Alfred

**maplebears** : What

  
**godblessthishotmess** : check it out im blond

**godblessthishotmess** : im not not-skinny

**godblessthishotmess** : im kinda rich because us treasury haha oh no

**godblessthishotmess** : and im a pretty hella bitch

**godblessthishotmess** : donaTELLA

  
**maplebears** : ALFRED CAN YOU /STOP/

**maplebears** : I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING

  
**winter_sunlight** : You North Americans are so silly!

**winter_sunlight** : It is rather sweet, actually.

**winter_sunlight** : But, Matvey, you cannot just leave me like that to text your brother!!

**winter_sunlight** : It is quite rude to do that to someone you brought to your bed!

  
**godblessthishotmess** : what jesus chRIST I DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE GUYS

**godblessthishotmess** : MY INNOCENT VIRGIN MIND

**godblessthishotmess** : HOWEVER WILL A TAINTED BELLE LIKE ME BE WORTH A DOWRY NOW

**godblessthishotmess** : so who tops

  
**winter_sunlight** : Your brother is quite aggressive when he wants to be, Fredka.

  
**maplebears** : OH MY /GOD/

**maplebears** : SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU

**maplebears** : IVAN STOP GIVING ALFRED IDEAS

**maplebears** : THIS ISN'T WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

  
**godblessthishotmess** : well matt this sounds like i just interrupted your session of hot, hot lovemaking until the two of you see passionate white suns in the darkness of the night

  
**winter_sunlight** : How sexual.

  
**maplebears** : Alfred why must you do this to me

**maplebears** : Ivan why must you do this to me

  
**godblessthishotmess** : because we love you, little bro

**godblessthishotmess** : i love you

**godblessthishotmess** : and im gonna steal you from right under that ruskie bitchs giantass nose

  
**winter_sunlight** : Hello, Alfred.

  
**godblessthishotmess** : hey vanya

**godblessthishotmess** : mattie dont fall for his innocent act

**godblessthishotmess** : thats exactly what he wants

**godblessthishotmess** : cant you see maaattieeeeeee

**godblessthishotmess** : you belong with meeeeeee

**godblessthishotmess** : thats right yall not only am i lady gaga but i am also taylor swift

**godblessthishotmess** : now get back to making those godawfully loud sex noises that i can hear through these thin walls

**godblessthishotmess** : these walls

**godblessthishotmess** : are so thin

  
**winter_sunlight** : Why, Fredka, I never knew you were such a voyeur.

  
**godblessthishotmess** : i never knew you were such an exhibitionist you cannot actually be that loud

  
**winter_sunlight** : ;)

  
**maplebears** : I'M DONE

**maplebears** : I AM SO /DONE/


End file.
